This article is about a group of women in Vietnam who have
made the decision to be single mothers. In Loi a small village in Northern Vietnam
a group of women who were seen as not marriage material by their society have “taken
matters into their own hands” and have begun to ask men to “ask for a child” a “practice”
which is now called “xin con.” These women simply ask the men to help them conceive
a child and then move on never seeing the mother or child again. There were
many of the women who had been a part of the Vietnamese military during the “American
War” as they refer to it. These women put the “revolution before their families”
and once the war was over they returned home by themselves. Some of these women
had lost their husbands in the war, many were considered too old to marry, and
others had their husbands leave them. The war left many of these women wanting children,
some to help them work on the farm, others simply wanted something to love, and
some wanted to know that they would be taken care of in their old age. This
practice is something very new and not very well received in the Vietnamese
culture. Women are supposed to get married and then have children typically
being the socially acceptable and “right” order of things, so the mothers who
have chosen to be single were outcast from living in many areas and from
society. It was hard for these women to find villages that were accepting of
them, many were turned away and not given any help, others were lucky enough to
find villages like Loi where they are surrounded by other women in similar
situations. Soon the Women’s Union, a part of the government that runs programs
for women, got involved. And now the single mothers as well as their children are
receiving aid from the government. I think that it is amazing that these women
stood up for what they wanted and for their rights, they became mothers even
though society had barred motherhood from them. It was also pretty cool to read
that the government was actually supporting them and helping them live the way
they wanted to.
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